Stop me if you’ve heard this one: A raccoon, a tree, the guy from Mouserat, Lt. Uhura, and a WCW Superstar walk into a wretched hive of scum and villainy…
I don’t have a unique take on Guardians of the Galaxy or anything to say about it really other than that I loved it. I appreciate that self-spoofing, tongue-in-cheek postmodern humor has so thoroughly broken through to the mainstream to become the dominant form of entertainment. I feel like you can chart a direct line from Andy Warhol to Giles Goat Boy to 30 Rock to Die Antwoord to Guardians of the Galaxy. Everything is at it was predicted in Frederic Jameson’s seminal theoretical text Postmodernism or the Cultural Logic of Late Capitalism.
And Chris Pratt gets to be the Barthesian hologram, the hyperreal version of Han Solo, the more-Harrison-than-Harrison Ford of the 21st century. Approval, be thee stamped!
- Michael Rooker! I learned on IMDB that he is one of the few actors to have appeared with Stallone, Schwarzenegger, AND Van Damme. You probably know him as Merle from the Walking Dead . As Yondu Udonta, he was my favorite character in the whole movie, or at least the most scene-stealingest. A little bummed that they toned down Yondu’s signature red mohawk so much though.
- Karen Gillan, wassupwitu? Are you tired of being typecast as a super hot redhead with a Scottish accent? Amy Pond melted my heart one thousand times…but this blue space beastie with a rotten attitude? Not doing it for me. Is it because everybody loved Jennifer Lawrence painted blue in X-Men? Because you don’t have anything to prove to Katniss Everdeen — you were a companion. That is like Bond Girl x 1,000,000. But I will watch your sitcom with John Cho. I will watch it hard.
- How long is it actually going to take to gather all six infinity gems and make them the focal point of the entire Marvel Cinematic universe? I assume they’ll be in a Doctor Strange movie. I assume there will be some element of the Illuminati/Secret Avengers storyline, although that will be pretty boring without Professor X and Reed Richards involved. We know that Ultron is the villain of Avengers 2. So are we building up to an Infinity Gauntlet story for Avengers 3, which will come out around the time that my as yet unconceived children are getting their learner’s permits for their flying cars? Just seems like a lot of buildup for six magical stones I guess. I’d rather see Secret Invasion, Civil War, or (please?) Kang the Conqueror as a cinematic universe storyline.
- The five core Guardians were perfect. I could watch this team, with these actors, and this dynamic, in a dozen films. Zoe Saldana, who has always been close but no cigar, was the full Macanudo this time. Rocket looked great, had the best lines, and Bradley Cooper sold that ridiculous accent for all it was worth. Groot, an animated tree, was the heart and soul of the whole movie — and I wish the Vin Diesel haters would shut up. Dave Bautista was the funniest thing in a movie full of professional comedic actors, and also the biggest, most dangerous looking thing in a film full of computer generated space monsters. And Chris Pratt…his is the face that launched a thousand (Nova Corps) ships. He’s just the sweetest.